Post by Francis Nora on Apr 29, 2008 22:06:48 GMT -5
Hi, everyone! So, I basically write scripts. They seem to be a lot easier than writing long descriptive novels. However, they were not that easy. You have to build this world by using dialogue, hoping that people get it. Anyway, I have idea for a story and I was wondering if I could bounce them off of a few people or get some feed back.
I have a long version of the summar, or the really quick reader digest version. I'll give the reader digest so that you don't have to read it all, then I can answer any small plot plans if you have any. Okay, try to follow along.
There are two twin brothers, William and Peter, living in the 1920's during Prohibition. Peter is the older twin, the more respected one. He is the "good" brother and has everything in life. He's dating a girl, Catherine. It's all nice and wholesome. Then, William is the younger twin, the black sheep of the family. He's involved with some members of the mafia, dealing with getting alcohol from Canada into New York. One day, William had to pay these three mafia guys, but he didn't have the money. So, of course, the mafia guys were going to kill him, but in self defense, he killed two and left the third for dead.
Well, the third lived and identified who killed the other two. The cops arrested Peter, thinking it was William, on the way home from his date with Catherine. Peter tried to tell them that they got the wrong guy, but the Mafia guy ID him as the guy. When William found out, he started to pretend to be William, even calling up Catherine the next day to tell her about the mix up. Eventually, William was killed in jail by a fight that broke out. Catherine soon found out that the brothers switched and was going to tell the cops. However, the real Peter tried to stop her. He tried to throw her over the bridge, but the struggle ended with Peter thrown over the bridge. Catherine tried to drive away, but was killed by a drunk driver.
Fast forward to the present. Catherine is reincarnated as a college senior, Victoria, who's obsessed with the 1920's and is doing a senior thesis on this time period. William and Peter are also reincarnated, but into one body, David. He is a graduate student in California. David has what modern psychologists would diagnois as split personality, but it doesn't develop until now. David and Victoria had a dream of their flashback. When, they were searching through facebook, they spotted each other and thought the other looked familiar. This was when David's other "personality" or Peter's soul started to rise up again.
Peter takes over for David sometimes and plans this huge plot to transfer from California to New York, where Victoria is going to school, even killing David's parents before leaving. Peter's soul still doesn't remember, but is a lot quicker to pick up things than David. He must work quietly without being detected. So, during the day, David is conscious, awake, aware. But, at night, Peter is awake, doing the research, trying to find the connection between him and Victoria. David and Victoria meet and it's love at first sight, mostly because they're soul mates.
Eventually, the story develops as Peter finally knows and tries to plot his revenge on Victoria. Then, Victoria starts to find out and figured it all out. All of her dreams weren't dreams, they were just flashback of the past. However, she's always missing that one last bit, the moment on the bridge. However, Peter figured out that Victoria knew, so he had to put his plans into action now. He drives Victoria to the same bridge eighty years ago. Then, it all comes flooding back to Victoria. They struggle some more, but then the California police, that had been looking for the killers of David's parents came to arrest David/Peter.
Now, this is where I get stuck. Where should I go from here? How should I end it? Should I have Peter go away after some heart to heart talk because then his soul can rest at ease? Or should David and Peter be stuck with each other, and David go see a shrink to control it. Does David end up in jail for something he doesn't remember? I don't know. What do you think of the story, though?
I have a long version of the summar, or the really quick reader digest version. I'll give the reader digest so that you don't have to read it all, then I can answer any small plot plans if you have any. Okay, try to follow along.
There are two twin brothers, William and Peter, living in the 1920's during Prohibition. Peter is the older twin, the more respected one. He is the "good" brother and has everything in life. He's dating a girl, Catherine. It's all nice and wholesome. Then, William is the younger twin, the black sheep of the family. He's involved with some members of the mafia, dealing with getting alcohol from Canada into New York. One day, William had to pay these three mafia guys, but he didn't have the money. So, of course, the mafia guys were going to kill him, but in self defense, he killed two and left the third for dead.
Well, the third lived and identified who killed the other two. The cops arrested Peter, thinking it was William, on the way home from his date with Catherine. Peter tried to tell them that they got the wrong guy, but the Mafia guy ID him as the guy. When William found out, he started to pretend to be William, even calling up Catherine the next day to tell her about the mix up. Eventually, William was killed in jail by a fight that broke out. Catherine soon found out that the brothers switched and was going to tell the cops. However, the real Peter tried to stop her. He tried to throw her over the bridge, but the struggle ended with Peter thrown over the bridge. Catherine tried to drive away, but was killed by a drunk driver.
Fast forward to the present. Catherine is reincarnated as a college senior, Victoria, who's obsessed with the 1920's and is doing a senior thesis on this time period. William and Peter are also reincarnated, but into one body, David. He is a graduate student in California. David has what modern psychologists would diagnois as split personality, but it doesn't develop until now. David and Victoria had a dream of their flashback. When, they were searching through facebook, they spotted each other and thought the other looked familiar. This was when David's other "personality" or Peter's soul started to rise up again.
Peter takes over for David sometimes and plans this huge plot to transfer from California to New York, where Victoria is going to school, even killing David's parents before leaving. Peter's soul still doesn't remember, but is a lot quicker to pick up things than David. He must work quietly without being detected. So, during the day, David is conscious, awake, aware. But, at night, Peter is awake, doing the research, trying to find the connection between him and Victoria. David and Victoria meet and it's love at first sight, mostly because they're soul mates.
Eventually, the story develops as Peter finally knows and tries to plot his revenge on Victoria. Then, Victoria starts to find out and figured it all out. All of her dreams weren't dreams, they were just flashback of the past. However, she's always missing that one last bit, the moment on the bridge. However, Peter figured out that Victoria knew, so he had to put his plans into action now. He drives Victoria to the same bridge eighty years ago. Then, it all comes flooding back to Victoria. They struggle some more, but then the California police, that had been looking for the killers of David's parents came to arrest David/Peter.
Now, this is where I get stuck. Where should I go from here? How should I end it? Should I have Peter go away after some heart to heart talk because then his soul can rest at ease? Or should David and Peter be stuck with each other, and David go see a shrink to control it. Does David end up in jail for something he doesn't remember? I don't know. What do you think of the story, though?
